In the Before Times, prior to Covid and "going Pro", I was fortunate to spend 20 years exploring kink and BDSM in variety of rolls and capacities. In that time, I made a great many friends and acquaintances that I still enjoy company with even now. Those people have blessed My life with their time and energy. Many I learned from (or learned ON) and some I still consider play partners. I consider Myself blessed with people to play with in pretty much any way a person can imagine.
Since becoming a Pro Domme, that has expanded even further in a very delightful way. I've gained experience and had the pleasure of exploring/pushing an array of kinks and fetishes with some interesting people. I have a real passion for BDSM because it is also My Lifestyle- being able to facilitate these experiences and educate others is very rewarding.
It is also very much a job. I work hard at it with marketing, social media, filming, networking, practicing, and so on. I can assure you; I earn every single Tribute that is graciously delivered to Me. Those Tributes are what allow Me to continue to learn and invest in sharing My Lifestyle with others. My time, knowledge, experience, and skillsets have value that I've spent years cultivating.
I recently attended a Lifestyle event where I ran into an old acquaintance that I've known for probably 10 or 12 years. He approached and politely asked Me to play.
I hesitated. I've never been one to enjoy pick up play or last minute/one time offers. Those occurrences are pretty rare in My personal life. I need time to process, negotiate, and get to know the person in order to judge compatibility and feel comfortable. I used this as a very legitimate and real excuse to sidestep the offer and politely decline.
But it brought up a very real conundrum for Me as both a Pro and Lifestyle player.
There is a view amongst Lifestyle sorts that Pros are just exploiting for money in a distasteful way. And there is a view amongst Pros that the Lifestylers are just fishing for free sessions.
I do not think the person who approached Me was looking for free sessions. I believe he is a person I've known for a long time who took a chance with asking. However, this occurrence has prompted Me to initiate a new policy for myself when attending Lifestyle events.
If we played together in the Before Times and are still on good terms, I am happy to negotiate and consider playing with you should our paths happen to cross and the mood is right. I'm blessed with quite a few personal partners at this point and do not seek any more at this time. While My heart is big, My time is limited. I want to put My energies into those close to Me first.
If we did NOT play together before I became a Pro, I am very sorry to disappoint you. As just mentioned, My time is limited and My plate is full. I am confident that I provide a valuable skill and good energy to My clients. I know My worth.
I would be happy to accept applications and referrals from My Lifestyle acquaintances, but since this is My JOB, I do require Tribute for My time.
Think of it in terms of your friend who owns a business. You can ask them for discounts and free stuff, but that is not supporting your friend or their business. This is My business. I want it to succeed. In order to do so, I cannot be giving away goods and services for free simply because we know one another. That is fast way for My business to collapse on itself.
This policy, I think, is the best way for Me to navigate future offers of play at Lifestyle Events. If we've never played before and you find yourself interested, please follow the instructions on the Application page of this site. And please be prepared to offer Tribute just like anyone else would have to do. In this way, My personal partners remain My priority at parties and all clients are treated equitably.
I hope to see you in My inbox.