I had the joy of spending the past weekend with My personal pet and service submissive. As our D/s dynamic blossoms and grows, it gives Me the opportunity to ponder on concepts about what it means to be the Dominant power. I am a sadistic Top and love nothing more than seeing My pet cry by My hand. But I also want what is best for My pet, to see her succeed in her life and goals.
As a reminder since this Blog is still new, My Madam Monday is a way for Me to connect with readers and share thoughts as the "real" Madam behind this website. In exchange, I offer a small weekly task, usually something simple, that betters you and pleases Me. This is the third My Madam Monday task posting and I look forward to readers sharing their task completion with Me!
It occurred to Me recently that Dominants are really Caregivers in Kink and BDSM. Well, I suppose I should clarify that and say the "good" Dominants are caregivers. There are certainly "Dominants" out there who are only transactional or limit their emotional and physical availability to their bottoms. And there are "Dominants" who take advantage of submissives to meet their own ends with no regard for the bottom. And if that is consensual and agreed upon by both parties, then who am I to say they aren't good Dominants? I mean, some people like that! And I'm no stranger to purely transactional arrangements.
That said, as a Dominant, I still have a sense of goodwill and well wishes for my submissives and bottoms. When asked what makes Me happy or what they can do for Me, the answer is usually something to the effect of "take care of yourself". The clients I enjoy the most are the ones who have a good handle on their personal and professional lives, or are at least making a real effort towards that end. My job is to encourage, guide, and direct them to prioritize what is best for them in their lives, the end result being that they are able to serve Me better for it.
But Madam! How can beating someone until they cry and snot and drool runs down their face possibly be considered "caregiving"???
I can hear the question burning on vanilla lips. And therein lies a lot of the misunderstanding that people have with BDSM. To non-Lifestyle people, pain is only used as a punishment, a negative thing that we should avoid at all costs. That makes it hard for them to understand those of us who enjoy giving or receiving pain. It is almost unfathomable that pain could be a good thing, that an excellent and painful scene could be a reward for good behavior rather than abuse or domestic violence.
Without getting too far into the science behind masochism and pain, allow Me to just say that My pet is a masochist and actively seeks pleasure from the pain I administer. It is something that she needs and wants to feel happy, safe, and content. As a caregiving Dominant, I do My best to relieve that need for her in as safe a way possible. I help to facilitate her growth and personal improvement by protecting her from unsafe and destructive behaviors. When her need is fulfilled, I care for her in recovery and guide her with love and empathy.
Of course, I also happen to really, REALLY enjoy it. All of it, from pain to service to pleasure to caregiving. Very convenient for both of us!
The Task 2.28.22
Followers know that I was hacked last week out of all My social media accounts connected with Madam Jess. It has been a cyber nightmare trying to regain access and I'm still locked out of some. I learned a valuable lesson in internet security and how SWs are targeted online. Your task this week is to update your passwords and online account recovery information. Check your privacy settings. Be safe online!